Sponge bath it is.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
