4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
