my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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