Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
