from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
