Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize