When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
