Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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