What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize