omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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