Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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