So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
