The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
