In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize