My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
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