nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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