I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
