M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
