I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
