Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
