That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
