That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
