After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
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The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.