I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.