The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
