the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
