Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over

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  (706): You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over http://tfl.nu/x2t5
  Replies (318) Good night (5605) Bad night (3070)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out

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  (580): i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out http://tfl.nu/gevy
  Replies (64) Good night (1128) Bad night (9860)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?

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  (781): I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I? http://tfl.nu/0o9s
  Replies (5) Good night (886) Bad night (3582)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

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  (312): This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/7nbz
  Replies (28) Good night (5209) Bad night (2315)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit

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  (+49): he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit http://tfl.nu/mxfj
  Replies (16) Good night (3291) Bad night (1817)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.

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  (901): She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab. http://tfl.nu/iean
  Replies (6) Good night (2493) Bad night (829)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.

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  (225): thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm. http://tfl.nu/s8ta
  Replies (4) Good night (2006) Bad night (856)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.

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  (514): She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead. http://tfl.nu/g7qd
  Replies (10) Good night (1107) Bad night (2543)
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  (510): View more from California

  Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.

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  (510): Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals. http://tfl.nu/vphu
  Replies (16) Good night (2450) Bad night (806)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...

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  (434): Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave... http://tfl.nu/1k20
  Replies (13) Good night (2498) Bad night (895)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.

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  (719): As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF. http://tfl.nu/ti4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1267) Bad night (644)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.

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  (774): I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands. http://tfl.nu/r3el
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (535)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?

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  (416): How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard? http://tfl.nu/770q
  Replies (16) Good night (899) Bad night (767)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour

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  (306): this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour http://tfl.nu/3t2e
  Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (331)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.

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  (+44): I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things. http://tfl.nu/azn2
  Replies (5) Good night (884) Bad night (215)

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