Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
