I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?