Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
