'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize