1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
