Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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