i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
