She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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