If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
