I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
