This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
