You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
