I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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