I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
