he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
