alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
