So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The uberlube is also flammable
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
