We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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