who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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