I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
