When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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