when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
