theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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