when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize