Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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