I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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