I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize