rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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