there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
