how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
