What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
