Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
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