My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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