I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
