Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
