my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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