Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
