On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
