i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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